Conscious Celibacy

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the health benefits of frequent sex. I’m a huge advocate for regular sexual activity, either with a partner or by yourself. But what if you just have no interest whatsoever? That’s okay too. Ultimately you have to do what is right for YOU. Sometimes celibacy is self imposed … other times, not so much. But we’ll focus here on conscious celibacy.

I was born during the sexual revolution of the 60’s so I missed the beginning of “free love” and grew up never knowing about the repression that was a part of previous generations.

Unfortunately the sexual revolution had a negative impact on women as well. Women became sexualized, and it permeated every form of media. It was quickly discovered that sex sells and that has continued to this day. And it’s everywhere from beer ads to perfume to clothing.

What was originally considered a revolution and a freedom of choice has morphed into an expectation that everyone should have sex early and often. And yes, sometimes that’s the case. But why should it be?

Young women (girls really) are being pressured into sex at a very young age. That is by no means a judgment. If it’s what they really want then who I am to judge, I wasn’t exactly married when I lost my virginity J. What I have an issue with is the pressure that seems to have become so commonplace. If you haven’t had sex by the time you’re 16, you’re considered “odd”. To me that’s wrong.

What was originally seen as a way for women to take control of their power has become just the opposite. To truly take back their power, women need to make a conscious decision whether they want sex or not. It’s THEIR choice, nobody else’s, and they shouldn’t feel pressured to “perform” or to “want to get laid”.

So should a woman be construed as being “uptight” or “cold” if she doesn’t want sex, or at the very least, have sex on HER terms? Absolutely not. What a woman does with her body is her decision, nobody else’s.

I’ll be straight with you. I love sex. I’ve used sex for many things over the years … for power, to prove to myself I was attractive and sexy, to keep a man, to show my love and desire for someone else. I’ve also used it as a weapon or for punishment. Sex is probably one of the most complicated, power subjects on human behavior.

Ultimately, YOU have to make the decision as to what is right for you. Regardless of your age or circumstances, you have the right to choose to have sex or not. Conscious celibacy is your choice. Nobody has the right to make you feel like there’s something wrong with you or to question that decision.

For those who choose a lifestyle of celibacy, I congratulate you. I love to see people making decisions for their own life that speaks truth to them and sticking by it regardless of what others might think.

The ultimate revolution is when you choose to say “No thank you … I won’t cave to what society thinks I should do. I will live my life authentically.” Take back your power and your choice … whatever that happens to be.

With much love,


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