Summer Flings

This article was originally published in the Summer, 2017 issue of Resilientista magazine.  This is an online magazine targeted at women who have gone through a major change in their lives.  The subscription is free and you can sign up for it here. In fact, the Spring, 2018 issue is being released next week!!!

You’re never too old for a summer fling.

Am I suggesting an extra-marital affair? Of course not. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a summer fling with your significant other, a friend or a stranger. Summer flings aren’t just for the 20-something my dear Resilientista. They are for any woman who wants to add a little spice to their sex life.

Is there someone you know and you’ve had your eye on for a while but have been afraid to approach? Maybe they feel the same way and they’re afraid to approach you too. Why not put your high heels on and walk on over to that person and let them know that you are definitely interested in pursuing something with them? Fear keeps us from experiencing so much richness in our lives. Feel the fear … but do it anyway. And whether it’s a one-time thing or it develops into something longer term, at least you pursued something you really want.

What about a stranger who catches your eye? Go over and talk to them. Get to know them a little. Maybe they’re worth pursuing, maybe not. Again you’ll never know unless you ask. There’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand with a stranger. Just make sure you play it safe with condoms and a good, healthy lube.

Maybe you’re happily married but your sex life is a little … well … lackluster. You’ve been together a while and things are predictable. I have some suggestions for you. J

Outdoor sex is one of the best ways to add an element of danger and excitement into what is a safe relationship. Whether it’s in your own backyard, at the beach late at night or on a country road in the middle of the day, outdoor sex can certainly rev up a comfortable sex life.

Toys are a great addition to your repertoire. Whether it’s a vibrator, dildo, handcuffs or nipple clamps, they add another element that is absent during our day-to-day life and can add an extra spark to your sex life. The possibilities are endless.

Watch porn together. It just might give you some ideas on new positions to try. If it’s the first time you’ve watched porn together, you might be a little uncomfortable and that’s okay. That’s how we experience new things, by stepping out of our comfort zones. You can talk about what you’d like to try and what you can’t see yourself every doing. But I encourage you not to put too limits on yourself. Sometimes the thing we say “no way in hell to” ends up being the thing we love if we give it a chance.

Talk about your fantasies. Whether you want to act on them one day or not is irrelevant. Just be clear to your partner whether these are simply fantasies or something you’d like to pursue them one day. Fantasies range from sex with someone of the same sex, a threesome, bondage, submission or domination and so much more. Don’t fight your fantasies …. Let them come 😉 You never know where they’ll take you.

Sex is something so many women are so afraid to open up about. I understand. We’ve been conditioned to think that sex is something we HAVE to do rather than GET to do. If men can enjoy it just for the sake of enjoyment, then why the heck can’t women? Let yourself go … you might be amazed at the experience.

“Yeah, that’s great Sandy but I’m so dry and sex hurts and my libido sucks.” That’s where lube and practice, practice, practice comes in. The old saying “if you don’t use it, you lose it” is so true. There are so many health benefits to having sex, even if it’s by yourself. Orgasms release endorphins and make you feel good, and really, who doesn’t want a happy woman in their life 😉

So take the bull by the horns, step into your sexual power and have a summer fling.

Happy exploring darlings!!


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