As we said good riddance to 2019 (which seems like such a rough year at the time) and welcomed 2020 (new year and new decade … it was gonna be AWESOME!), something far more challenging was slowly brewing.
I had my own issues I was facing. I knew I was going to end my 23 year marriage; had been thinking and stressing about it for almost a year. I knew it was going to be a year of change for us … little did I know just how much change was going to happen.
Late in 2019 when I finally decided to end my marriage, I wanted to give us one last Christmas together. It wasn’t a great one for me because I knew what was coming. In recent years, Christmas had become more and more of a non-event in our household so 2019 wasn’t really any different.
January 2, 2020 arrived … we did our morning routine and things were fine but I had reached my breaking point. I needed to speak up. So I told him I couldn’t do this any more. I was expecting … I’m not even sure what. He paused and said “yeah, we’ve been going in different directions the past couple of years”. I was both relieved and a little “wtf … he was supposed to be upset”. Gotta be careful of those expectations in life. So we talked and cried and talked and cried for a couple of hours then went and watched TV for a bit.
I think our separation has been one of the most amicable and easy-going separations ever. We split everything amicably, there was never any question or fight about anything. We both had the attitude of “it’s just stuff”. The biggest challenge was the cats; we had two bonded males and a female who had been separated from them for years (long story). So we flip-flopped on who should go with whom. It wasn’t about what we wanted; it was about what was best for the “kids”. Barry had come to my place to help assemble and install furniture and help me get settled; I went down to help him out … or take the truck down so we could go to IKEA to get items that wouldn’t fit in his car. All in all … it has been a pretty easy experience. We still text almost every day; send pictures of the cats and just check in to make sure the other is okay. Yes … we still care about each other and want to ensure things are going well.
I digress … March hit and the lockdowns went into effect. The world as we knew it had forever changed. Of course we had been working hard to get the house ready to list … but it didn’t happen until the lockdown occurred. We had a fabulous real estate agent who helped guide us through the mess and made sure we had people still coming for showings. The house sold in one week for exactly what we wanted for it. It was the one and only house that the couple had looked at; she fell in love with it so they didn’t even both looking elsewhere. Not bad for such uncertain times. But we still had to find apartments; he ended up in Whitby at the first apartment he looked at. I moved to Lindsay, getting the first apartment I looked at and fell in love with. And I even found the only VooDoo Blue 2020 Toyota Tacoma that was available in Ontario … and the only reason it was available was because the person who ordered it lost his job due to COVID and couldn’t take possession. Divine intervention perhaps?
You see, I first noticed the Tacoma in 2019 and fell in love. I wanted one so bad but had no way of getting one. But we took one for a test drive and I kept seeing them around town. I was obsessed and knew that one day I would have one. Moral of the story …. If something sets your soul on fire … follow it and don’t ever give up on it.
I moved into my apartment, started furnishing it (thank you Wayfair!) and settling into my life here in Kawartha Lakes and then something odd happened. I “lost my voice”; I had lost my drive with my business. I didn’t feel like myself at all. Then it happened. I reached out to a transformation coach I knew and asked her to appear on a show I was hosting. She said absolutely. Then we started talking and she helped me see that I was grieving my life. Not just my marriage, but I left my community of almost 44 years. I left my networking circles (not that I could see them in person anyway) and all my contacts. I had uprooted my life during a pandemic and relocated to a town where I knew 2 people. To say that she helped me is an understatement. In 12 weeks my life changed again; I became myself again … only better, stronger and ready to take on the world!
I think we had gotten a little complacent up here … we were in the “green zone” with less than a handful of case in all of Kawartha Lakes. Then we were put into the orange zone “for our protection” then full lockdown along with the rest of Ontario. This time isn’t quite so bad because a lot of places are still open, just under different guidelines.
For me? I’m back to work, creating, writing, I’ve got a new book and a new online program coming out in 2021, I’m able to do all my coaching online and I’ll be doing virtual toy and essential oil parties to name just a few.
So what are the positives that have come out of this year? You know I had to go there, right? I’m an optimist and believe that life is what you make it and things will always work out … maybe not the way you want … but they work out the way it’s meant to.
The world has slowed down. We were in such a rush for so long, trying to do far too many things, to the detriment of our health, our home lives and our relationships. The planet has recovered somewhat with fewer emissions, and a lot of people are getting outside and being more active. A lot of people have become kinder and more understanding, and it’s given us something in common with everyone else, even though there are varying views on how the government is handling the pandemic. But that’s to be expected.
Don’t get me wrong .,.. Just because I’m an optimist doesn’t mean I’m not also somewhat realistic. I know that a lot of businesses have suffered or closed their doors due to lockdowns. A lot of people have lost their jobs or their incomes have been slashed. Sadly it’s made a lot of people more suspicious and somewhat dogmatic about masks and distancing. I know I’ve thought “don’t worry I’m not sick” when someone gives me a wide berth. But maybe they’re just trying to be respectful of me.
So here’s my thoughts on this. Let’s smile big smiles so it hits our eyes so people can see we’re smiling, say hello to people who are in our vicinity so they don’t feel like lepers, check on people who can’t get out easily, wash your hands, eat healthy, take Vitamins C and D to build your immune system and a good antioxidant like Young Living’s Ningxa Red (goji berry juice) or Chaga (mushroom) Tea. Stay active, get outside and keep moving. And stay in touch with people … you don’t have to avoid other people like the plague. Wear a mask. Wash your hands. Keep 6 feet apart. Go for walking visits. You CAN hug your family … if you want to be really safe … wear a mask and keep your faces away from each other.
And support your small business owners rather than going to the big box stores … cause they’re not necessarily following the rules like they should. More importantly … small businesses are the backbone of our economy. That’s one of the things I love most about living in a smaller town; getting to know the shopkeepers and local businesses. It’s amazing!
If there’s any way I can help, please reach out to me. With lots of love and appreciation.
Here’s to a very Happy New Year in 2021!