My Struggle with Isolation

I’m not going to lie to you; I struggle with isolation, loneliness and disconnection.  Not all the time but when it hits, it hits HARD. Now is one of those time.

Sometimes I question my decision to move away from my friends, my safe space to venture out on my own in a new town.  I’m only an hour or so away from my people and when the roads are clear it’s fine … I can run down to Durham Region on short notice but during winter it’s iffy.  It doesn’t help that my birthday is fast approaching and I may end up spending it alone like all other holidays the past couple of years.

I’ve only been in my new town for two years … during the pandemic.  I’ve gotten to know people and we’re friendly and have fun and laugh but we’re not friends.  We’re not connected like I am to my Durham community.  My family is almost non-existent and those who are still in my life are either far away or extremely busy.

Zoom doesn’t cut it.  Online networking is a chore.  I feel like I’ve lost my best friends.  I would see the same core people again and again at different events, we’d meet for coffee or a walk or a party.  I haven’t seen my group since early 2020 and it hurts my soul.  I do get to see individuals from time to time but when you’re a social butterfly like I am, it’s REALLY hard to be without your people.

This is highly unusual for me.  I don’t normally open myself up like this.  Even my friends don’t realize when I’m struggling because I’m normally a very strong person … those are the ones you need to check on cause they hide their struggles.  So what is a girl (or guy) to do when they’re lonely and hurting and just need someone to give them a great big hug?

Reach out in any way you can.  I have a business social I’m supposed to be attending shortly.  Part of me wants to hide because I don’t want to attend in low energy.  So I’ll get up, put on some music and dance.  That usually gets me out of this state.  If all else fails, seek professional help.

I didn’t write this to whine and complain.  I wrote it to let you know you’re not alone.  I wrote it to encourage you to do something to get out of your current state if it’s low.  Put on some music and dance.  Go for a walk.  Journal about it.  Call a friend.  Do SOMETHING to move the needle.  It may not seem like you can but please trust me; I go through this periodically and every time I’ve changed my state.  It isn’t always easy and it doesn’t necessarily happen in a minute, but stick with it and you’ll get there.

You’d be surprised at how willing people are to help.  If nothing else sometimes it gets someone else who is struggling out of their head for a bit to help someone else and in turn they feel better.

With much love and appreciation,


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