What does living in technicolour even mean?  Is it being loud and excited, wearing bright colours all the time, being the life of the party?  It could.  But no … that’s not what it is.

Many women (especially those of us who are north of forty but it’s not exclusive to us) have been programmed to put everyone else’s needs ahead of our own.  We’re the caregivers, the wife, mother, daughter, employee, business owner … the list goes on.  But what happens when you put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own?  Often it’s burnout.  Is it a given?  Of course not.  There is a remedy!

I was a vivacious, energetic, performer when I was young.  Then I was told to stop hogging the spotlight, to be quiet … that I was “too much”.  I was told that over and over and over until one day I stopped being that vivacious, energetic performer.  I learned that if I wanted my parents’ approval, I needed to be quiet .. to be seen but not heard.  And I lost my voice.  Between my mother’s criticisms and my dad’s sexual inappropriateness, I kept receding further and further inside myself.  To the outside world I was friendly, outgoing and dare I say confident?  But inside?  That was a WHOLE other story.

Fast forward many years and I was caregiver to both my parents, I was married and had a ninety minute commute each way, every day.  Dad died in 2001 after a lengthy battle with pancreatic cancer.  My mom had a couple of good years and then her health deteriorated rapidly until I finally had to admit her into a nursing home where she spent the last four years of her life.  I felt like such failure.  She died in 2008 and I had the overwhelming feeling that I was going to die early if I didn’t take care of myself.  I finally got the help I needed in 2012 and I reconnected with that vivacious, energetic performer that I was all those decades ago.

Can you relate?  Have you been so occupied with taking care of everyone else, wanting and needing to be loved and accepted that you lost you?  I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to reclaim who you truly are.  The others will deal and they will benefit from you taking care of YOURSELF first so that you have plenty to give others.

As one of my besties loves to say “self care is not optional”.  What is self care, anyway?  Bubble baths, massages and mani-pedis?  Yes, that’s part of it.  But there’s so much more to self care than that.  Taking time for yourself, especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night and hey .. let’s throw in a little break mid-day as well.  It doesn’t have to be an hour.  It can be 5 or 10 minutes when you meditate, pray, journal, use oracle cards.  It can be deep breathing (we humans are notorious for not breathing deeply).  Lay on your back with your feet up on the wall or at least on the bed or couch.  It helps to relax your nervous system.  Go for a walk in nature or just hang outside without anyone else around.  Walk barefoot in the grass, sand or water, depending on where you’ll be.  Hug a tree.  Ground yourself.  It does wonders.

Don’t forget to play and have fun!  Life gets so serious sometimes.  We get caught up in all the “things” that it’s important to laugh and have fun whether it’s with your friends, your partner or your kids.  Hit the swings at a playground.  Splash in the lake, even if you’re only knee deep.  Play tag with your friends.  Pull pranks on your friends and family.  BREATHE!

Keep a positive mental attitude.  Keeping our vibration high (because you know we’re all energetic beings, right?) can do wonders towards living a technicolour life.  Develop some sort of spiritual (not religious) practice, even if it’s simply saying thank you.

Focus on YOUR needs for a bit each and every day.  Be unapologetic for taking time out for yourself.  They will all benefit from you feeling fulfilled and happy and high vibe.

And if you need some one on one help with that, just email me at sandy@letstalksexwithsandy.com and let’s talk.

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