Are you settling for mediocre sex? Do you feel deeply connected with your partner, or do you live more like roommates most of the time? If so, you’re not alone.

I’ve spoken to so many people who feel emotionally distant from their partner—and their sex life? Almost nonexistent.

Outside of your relationship with yourself and the Universe, your connection with your life partner or spouse is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. And yes, it’s even more important than the relationship you have with your children.

Think of it this way: if you don’t keep your love life and connection strong, when your kids (if you have them) grow up and move out, you may find yourself living with someone who feels like a stranger. This is where many relationships start to break down.

But beyond that, what are you teaching your children about relationships?

I experienced this firsthand. My siblings had very different parents than I did. With a twelve- and fifteen-year age gap between us, they grew up with a father who was home every night. I, on the other hand, had a father who left on Mondays, returned on Fridays, and spent many weekends fishing during my early years. My siblings’ parents had fun together. Mine? Maybe at one point, but by the time I was a teenager, their relationship was dead. And yet my mother stayed—for me.

Their conversations were often filled with snark and arguments. I don’t know what happened between them, and they’re both long gone now. But growing up in that environment shaped my understanding of relationships—and not in a good way.

So if you have children, please, make your relationship a priority.

Avoid distractions. It’s fine to have friends of the opposite sex, as long as your partner is comfortable with it—but be mindful of how much time and energy you give to those friendships. Limit social media use and phone time. Make meals and bedtime electronics-free unless it’s just for music. Be intentional about focusing on each other.

Start talking. If you’re not sure where to begin, that’s where I come in. Remember, this isn’t about winning an argument—it’s about solving a puzzle and unlocking a deeper connection.

Prioritize intimacy. Sex is good for you! So is hugging, kissing, and taking the time to make out without the expectation of sex. Cuddle every night before bed. Show non-sexual affection in front of your kids so they grow up understanding that love, touch, and connection are essential parts of a healthy relationship.

I completely understand how life can get in the way. Between work, kids, self-care, family, and friends, it’s easy to drift apart—unless you make a conscious effort to do things together.

Looking back on my marriage, knowing what I know now (which I didn’t then), I would have done things differently. But I also believe my journey unfolded this way so I could help you.

If you’re struggling in your relationship and want to repair, rekindle, and reignite your love life, reach out to me at sandy@letstalksexwithsandy.com. Let’s make your relationship extraordinary.