Do you ever stop and wonder who you actually are? Not the version you show your spouse, your kids, your friends, or your coworkers—the real you. The one that shows up when nobody’s watching. Do you even know what’s really important to you? Or do you spend your days slipping on mask after mask, depending on the audience in front of you?
It’s easy to think these are simple questions, but here’s the thing: most of us spend a huge chunk of our lives hiding behind masks. There’s the one for your partner, the one for your family, the one for your friends, the one for clients or coworkers… and don’t forget the mask you wear around strangers.
Tweaking who you are depending on your “audience” is natural. But here’s the kicker: those masks need to align with each other. When they do, when you start connecting the dots between all the different versions of yourself, that’s when you step into your highest, truest self. That’s when you finally start admitting what you really want—and maybe even reconnecting with the person you’ve been all along.
Want to see what I mean? Let me get a little real with you.
As a kid, I was loud, high-energy, full of life—the classic “extra” child. But I was born late in my family, and my siblings were 11 and 15 when I arrived. My parents weren’t used to a kid who wouldn’t sit quietly, and I was told—constantly—to tone it down and to “stop holding the floor”. If I wanted acceptance, I had to be someone I wasn’t. In other words: people pleasing 101.
School didn’t help. I loved to talk, to connect, to engage… but all anyone ever said was, “Be quiet.” “Sit down.” I was craving validation, just like every kid does, but I had to learn the hard way that being myself wasn’t always welcome.
When I was thirteen, I lost my virginity—not because I wanted sex, but because I wanted him. The boy. Sixteen. And that’s when I discovered men could be… influenced. I used sex as a tool, not because of desire, but because I craved attention and validation. I thought it would let me be myself while still being accepted. Spoiler: it didn’t. It was manipulation on both sides, and I walked away empty.
Fast forward to high school graduation and the workforce. Chatty, energetic, vibrant me? Still told to “tone it down.” Still told to be someone other than me.
It wasn’t until I was 46 that someone suggested I might have ADHD. I laughed at first… until I read a book about it and suddenly saw myself in the pages. Things that had always felt “off” started making sense.
From there, I went back to school, became a holistic nutritionist, and started peeling back the layers of who I truly am. My journey led me to sex and intimacy work—helping women over forty rediscover themselves, reconnect with their partners, and finally embrace who they are underneath all the masks.
It took time. A lot of layers. Different modalities. Heartache and aha moments. But eventually, I figured out: who I am, what matters most to me, what I’m worthy of—and just as importantly, what (and who) is worthy of me.
So here’s my question for you: are you feeling a little disconnected? Like there’s something more out there than just going through the motions? If the answer is yes, it’s time we had a conversation. Let’s strip off the masks, find the real you, and start living life unapologetically.
Because honey… life’s too short to be anyone but yourself.