I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but men are people too… and yes, they have feelings. They just don’t always know how … or feel safe enough … to communicate them.
Before anyone bristles, take a breath and stay with me.
I’ve been following a few men’s coaches lately (and yes, they’re men too). I wanted to hear what men are saying when they’re not posturing, joking, or pretending everything is fine. And honestly? Some of the answers make me want to cry. Or reach through the screen and give these guys a long, grounded hug.
Because what I’m hearing isn’t weakness. It’s exhaustion.
Many of these men—especially the truly masculine ones—are under relentless pressure. They’re wired to protect, provide, and problem-solve. They take pride in being capable. Strong. Reliable. Grounded.
But when chronic stress piles up—work pressure, financial responsibility, emotional containment—it doesn’t just live in the mind. It lives in the body. And that stress often shows up as low desire, performance issues, or a complete shutdown around intimacy.
Now add something even more corrosive: being talked down to.
Being corrected, criticized, or subtly dismissed (ESPECIALLY in front of others) chips away at a man’s sense of self. And when a man—especially a grounded, masculine man—feels consistently undermined or second-guessed, something deep inside him starts to collapse.
Then comes the dynamic no one likes to name out loud: being mothered by his wife or partner.
I know this isn’t usually intentional. Many women step into this role because someone has to hold the mental load. But when a man feels managed instead of trusted, supervised instead of respected, it’s not just annoying—it’s emasculating.
And emasculation is a libido killer.
A man cannot feel sexually powerful, open, and confident when he feels like he’s being treated as incompetent, irresponsible, or “one more child to manage.” Even the most emotionally mature, masculine men will eventually withdraw when their autonomy and authority are quietly stripped away.
What many of these men are really saying is:
So they pull back.
They stop trying.
They avoid intimacy—not because they don’t want you, but because it’s safer than feeling inadequate.
And from the outside, it can look like indifference, laziness, or loss of attraction.
But underneath?
There’s shame.
There’s grief.
There’s a deep longing to feel like a man again—not in an ego-driven way, but in a grounded, embodied, masculine way.
Here’s the truth many couples miss:
Emotional safety is foreplay.
Respect is erotic.
And trust is an aphrodisiac.
Masculine men don’t need to be controlled.
They need to be met.
When pressure eases, when criticism softens into curiosity, when respect replaces micromanagement, something shifts. Desire has room to return. Confidence rebuilds. Connection deepens.
This isn’t about blaming women.
And it’s not about excusing harmful behaviour.
It’s about understanding that intimacy thrives when both partners feel valued, respected, and desired for who they are—not just what they do.
Men have feelings too.
And when we stop dismissing them, minimizing them, or weaponizing them, everyone wins.
If you’re tired of walking on eggshells in your relationship…
If sex feels tense, awkward, or non-existent…
If you’re craving deeper connection, hotter intimacy, and more honest conversations…
Then it’s time to stop avoiding the real issues and start talking about what actually matters.
🔥 Join me for Sunday Night Sex Talk, where we go there—without shame, blame, or bullshit.
🔥 Or book a private call with me and let’s get honest about what’s really happening in your relationship and your body.
Because passion doesn’t disappear on its own. It fades when it’s not protected.
And I’m here to help you bring it back.
Sandy 💋